A Sad Final Goodbye

Well folks the test have been done and it's official...I am severely allergic to peanuts. Sigh. After talking with the doctor I started to realize what a life change this will be for me as I have never had to think or worry about anything like this before and I pretty much live on nuts in general. Since I am so severely allergic to peanuts the doctor suggested I probably stay away from all nuts as they are all packaged in the same place and it's probably not worth the risk and with me being death afraid of ever having to stab myself with an EpiPen following having to call 911 for an ambulance I think I'll take his advice. 

So here's goodbye to all my favorite candy bars...aka any candy worth eating in my opinion

Goodbye to eating out as much because there is a lot of risk in that as well. Namely this beloved place because of all the peanuts laying around.

Goodbye to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on pancakes, chex muddy buddies, nutter butter milkshakes, peanut butter in general and all the other things I haven't thought about yet.

The Calm Before the Storm

I just spent the morning scheduling out my summer week by week to insure that I accomplish all the thing I need to get done around all the things we already have planned. Two of the main things include finishing my online classes which of course I've put off until now and the second is working on a big project that I'm doing with my sister and sister-in-law that we will be announcing in June! Looking at my calendar I have come to the conclusion that it is going to be a busy summer. But one I hope that's not missing all the fun, summer activities we can start doing with the warm weather!

So before all this craziness starts (because I keep convincing myself that it hasn't even though it seems like we always have lots going on) we decided to spend an enjoyable weekend in Ely with my family for Memorial Day and enjoyable it was!

We hadn't been home since Christmas which for us is a record not to mention there was still a lot of my family who hadn't had the chance to see Livy yet. The girls did awesome on both the drive there and back making us happy parents as well as giving Eric and I the chance to talk. Something I have always loved about traveling since some of our best conversations have been on the open road.

As for our actual destination there has always been something about being surrounded by family as well as the constant thread of people coming and going from the house that makes being home so enjoyable to me even if it gets a little crazy sometimes. I also love getting to bring my kids home to where I grew up. This trip I enjoyed watching Mia happily play outside in the backyard where my sister and I spent a lot of our time growing up in the summers.

As for the rest of us, Eric got his much needed out and went golfing and fishing with my brother-in-law, we both got to sleep all through the night since my parents (who are saints!) got up with Livy the nights we were home, I got to have lots of "girl" talk between my mom and sister, Mia got to have some great bonding time with her cousin Addi and Livy pretty much slept the entire weekend. To sum it all up...it was a great trip! And I actually got a few pictures this time.

Addi and Mia had a great time playing together, especially since Addi was so tolerant of Mia's constant hugs and kisses and playful tackles. 

Isn't Addie the cutest little 1 year old?! I just can't get enough of all her cute faces she is constantly making and those chubby cheeks!

Now for another fun weekend ahead! This doesn't include my appointment with the allergist tomorrow morning. The fun begins with lots of family coming in for Livy's baby blessing on Sunday. I even got ambitious and made Livy and Mia matching dresses for the blessing. Oh the fun of having two little girls! Pictures to come!

If you Just Smile

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This week has had some highs and some lows. The highs...finally getting to have a date night with the hubby! We went and just hit some golf balls (I think I missed more then I hit) and then had some dessert. It was SO nice to get out just the two of us, enjoy the nice weather and talk. Some other highs were that I was quite productive this week around the house compared to the past weeks, I got to do a little shopping and grab some yummy dinner with my twin sister, I got to do some much loved reading, and we are going home for Memorial weekend to spend some time with the family!

The lows...I got my first medical bill and it wasn't pretty and that was just first of many to come! Oh how I dread getting the rest of them and most likely being on the phone with the insurance all summer. Another low was while Eric and I were watching the Office (we decided to watch all the seasons over) there was a part were Angela buys Dwight a Baby Ruth candy bar. This made us both really want one and luckily I had just discovered one in the kitchen a few days ago! As we were about to open it we realized it had peanuts in it :( It was a sad moment to realize I could possibly never have a Baby Ruth or Payday again! Also I was extremely irritable and grumpy the last couple of days. I had no reason to be, but I would just wake up feeling that way. This equated into constantly loosing my patience with Mia and sometimes Eric...to my shame it wasn't my best moments as mother or a wife.

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On top of my bad mood, Eric informed me that his work finally put him on another project which will have him traveling every week. At the sound of this I wanted to just cry at the thought of again making the adjustment to handling things on my own during the weekdays with two small girls and not seeing Eric as much. In my self pity, I said a simple prayer in my heart asking the Lord to help me be strong and find a way to be happy regardless the situation. I suddenly got the idea that I should smile. So at 11 PM at night as I was sitting there by myself rocking Livy I started to smile and didn't stop until she fell asleep. My bad mood finally seemed to disappear and I felt happy...about everything. I once again felt strong and ready to take on the challenge of having a husband that travels while still having a close relationship with him and our family as a whole. The lesson that I learn and something I am going to try to work on more is to smile more and be happy!

So on a happy note and another high of the week; one of my favorite etsy shops Livy Love Design is having a 50% off sale so I just had to share! Not only do I love the name ;) but I love all her fun graphic art prints. These prints make me happy and I kind of want them all!

Have a happy weekend!

For the love of weather!

As soon as the sunshine and nice weather decides to make its lovely presents known a cold wind sweeps in and kills all hopes and plans for outdoor activities. This was the case this weekend as we had plans to pack some dinner and drive to the lake in Daybreak for a family outing.

In all honestly, this is actually one of my favorite kinds of weather (minus the wind)...overcast and rainy. The rain makes everything look green and beautiful with that fresh after rain smell in the air. It's times like these that I wish I had a porch and swing to sit on and just enjoy it while I watch my kids play out in the rain. Someday!

Anyway, in loo of the weather we changed plans and instead of the lake Eric took Mia to one of the local rec centers to go swimming while I sat in peace and quiet at home holding this cutie as we both took a much needed nap. 

Then after dinner we opted for roasting the first s'mores of the season...sadly not outside over a campfire, but around our kitchen stove. :)

Now on a completely random note, thanks to all for the advice on potty training! It was very helpful! I think I'll wait just a little longer before starting to make mine and Mia's life a little easier for the present. Now I need some more advice from those of you from the Utah area.

We got tickets to this year's Stadium of Fire for the 4th of July with my parents. I'll admit that I am kind of a fan of Kelly Clarkson. Mia and I are always listening to and singing her songs so when I saw she was going to be performing at Stadium of Fire it was pretty much decided there and then that we were going! It's a little silly how excited I am about it :)

This will be our first year staying here in Utah County for the 4th of July since we usually go home to Ely or Vernal. So for those of you who have spent the 4th here, what are some other fun family things to do in the area?

My Little Princess

This week Eric went back to working and I started easing into being a full time mother of 2 without constant help. With a few minor bumps here and there, so far the transition is going well and I'm enjoying having my energy back to keep of with these two girls.

Yesterday while Eric was at work, I was sitting with Livy wrapped up in my arms watching Mia play contently outside in our stairwell. Regardless of the fact that there were dishes to wash, laundry to be folded and I still hadn't gotten showered or dressed for the day, it was a perfect moment. The kind I treasure as a mother.

I also treasure this short amount of time of having a little baby to snuggle as well as watching Mia grow into a young lady. Each day as I watch Mia learn new things and develop new skills I realize how fast babies grow up! I feel like in just the last 2 weeks Mia went from being my baby to this adventurous and independent toddler as well as a caring big sister.

Here are a few of the new developments with Mia.

Mia's vocabulary has exploded! She is starting to put sentences together and remembers words to songs, movies and books. I can't wait for the day when we can have real conversations together!

It's still just as fun as ever to watch Mia play. She has little Woody and Buzz action figures that she takes everywhere with her that she loves to play with. This includes constantly stealing Livy's blankets and burp cloths to tuck them in "nigh-nigh".

One day Mia thought Buzz needed to take a nap with Livy.

 And not only is Mia my little princess, she is in love with princesses herself. We watch princess movies, read princess books, sing princess songs, have tea parties and she is always wanting to look like a "pretty princess" as she likes to say. I hope that she will grow up always feeling beautiful and worth just as much as any princess.

One of the things we did this week to make her look like a "pretty princess" was paint her toe nails. I hadn't tried this since almost a year ago which she hated sitting still for then. This time was a whole different experience. We were in the bathroom doing her hair when she saw the nail polish and help it up and said "pretty princess!". She sat patiently and still through while I painted her toe nails with a big smile on her face. 

And the best new development that I hope is not a one time thing...

Yes this is Mia taking her first nap in her room since stopping a few months ago and yes this picture was taken from underneath her door :)

Lastly, Mia has taken an interest in sitting on the "big girl" potty. I have sat her up on the potty a couple of times being just surprised she has actually asked and wanted to. She has yet to do anything while sitting on it, but it makes me wonder if I should just suck it up and start potty training. And I apologize in advice if the following pictures offend anyone. The outcome to having an Iphone that allows you to always have a camera on you...you sometimes feel the need to capture moments you normally wouldn't run and get your actual camera for.

Thoughts and advice would be MUCH appreciated on the subject of potty training and what you mother's who have potty trained your children have found has worked because I'll be honest...I have NO idea what I'm doing or what I could be getting myself into.

Hello Sunshine!

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After two weeks of mostly being stuck in our basement apartment, yesterday we decided to pack up the girls and go for a drive. We drove through a nearby canyon and through some neighborhoods until we found this fun little park.

Mia enjoyed running around and throwing rocks into the pond

and Livy had a good nap in her carseat :)

The sunshine and fresh air did us all some good and rejuvenated my spirits as I try patiently to wait for me to feel fully like myself again and adjust to being a mom of two as Eric starts back to work.

Hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful weather!

Oh What a Blessing for Mother's!

Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there! There are many who have been huge examples to me and who I look up to. But I would especially like to dedicate this post to my own mother who has given so much of her time and love to not only me throughout my life, but to my own family and especially my children. Words will never express how very grateful I am for everything you do and for showing me the kind of mother I want to be to my girls!

Eric showed me this picture he snapped of Mia and I while I was in the hospital and even though I look all drugged up and no that great in this picture it still melts my heart. Mia was so concerned for me and always wanted to jump up on my bed when she would come and visit for some "lovin's" as we like to call it.

Even though it requires some long days and even nights and is sometimes very tiresome I am so very grateful to have been blessed to be the mother of Mia and Livy. Being a mom has brought me so much happiness and love that I never knew was possible. It is truly a blessing that I thank the Lord everyday for!

A Few of My Favorite Things #2

After yet another emotional break down (oh those hormones!) and being held and comforted by Eric, I started to think of some of my favorite things. While typing this post I realized that I did a similar post about the same time after Mia was born (HERE). I've decided that this is going to become a regular post to help me remember what some of my favorite things are. So here we go...

A Few of My Favorite Things

1. This sexy husband I am so blessed to call mine! He's been that shoulder to cry into, the one to put a smile on my face and make me laugh and has been stuck in a house with 3 crying girls for the last week and a half without bolting out the door! What a trooper he has been! I love you Eric!

2. The other night I went into Mia's room to check on her before going to sleep. I ended up laying down next to her for awhile as I watched her sleep and she rolled over, opened her eyes to look at me and smiled and then went right back to sleep. How I love that little sweetheart!

3. Normally I don't like being awake in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping and I'm sure I'll have nights when I don't enjoy waking up with a baby, but last night I couldn't have been happier rocking little Livy while listing to her suck down a bottle as loud as possible in our still, clean house while everyone else slept.

4. Seeing Mia being such a sweet big sister to Livy. She now loves to give her kisses and hugs.

5. For the tender mercies from the Lord. He has blessed our little family in so many ways and through so many people that my heart is overfilled with gratitude for my wonderful life and to be able to know what true happiness is.

6. This book I made from my blog that came in the mail last week!

As I've said before I started this blog more for a journal and to keep family and friends updated. I wanted a way to have a hard copy of everything I had documented about our family so I started to look for the easiest solution to do that. The answer...Blurb.com! You can import your blog posts directly into the Blurb booksmart program and it will automatically create your book with your posts and pictures from your blog. Then I just went through and did some minor editing to make it look how I wanted. Once I ordered it the book was at my door in less than a week! I will definitely be doing more of these! If you are interest here is a little discount you can use.

Just Can't Stay Away

Unfortunately it's not from these delicious Chocolate protein peanut butter balls...

which I quickly learned they are something I should stay FAR away from after eating one of these landed me back in a hospital gown, an IV stuck in my arm and in the ER.

Upon eating one of these yesterday my whole mouth started to tingle and my tongue and throat started to get bumps all over it. Until now I have never had an allergic reaction to anything except for when I was in the hospital so I wasn't really sure what was going on or what to expect. To be safe Eric ran to the neighbors and got some Benoydril. Even after taking two pills my whole body started to itch and tingle and I was burning up. At this point we decided to get to the hospital. On the way my tongue started to swell along with my whole face. I could hardly move my fingers and my arms, back and face were starting to get bumps all over it.

So after getting pumped with some more drugs medications, Eric and I got to spend some quality time in an ER room for the next 4 hours watching Dancing with the Stars while they checked to see if any more signs of the allergic reaction would appear. How romantic...right?!

Since the doctor said this was a pretty serious allergic reaction I now get to carry around one of these lovely things...

On a lighter note...we still haven't been able to figure out who Livy looks more like yet and if she looks like Mia. There are times when she looks a lot like Mia and other times when she doesn't. So here are newborn pictures of both Mia and Livy. What do you think?

Mia had to lay down next to Livy for a picture. She has become quite the little helper with Livy all of the sudden. At the last feeding time she had to climb on my lap and feed her baby too while I fed Livy.

Recovering, Love, Tears and Gratitute

Wow, what a week it has been! So much has happened in such a small amount of time. I feel like a month has already gone by since I was pregnant with Livy when actually it has still been less than a week! Typing this post couldn't be more sweet though as I now have a sleeping, little baby close by in the comfort of my own home.

After getting released from the hospital I was relieved to get home and finally have a little privacy without getting poked and prodded every fifteen minutes and I thought things would just be much easier. However, I'm going to make a confession that I'm not very proud of...after being home for a little over an hour I burst into tears from being so overwhelmed. Mia was especially needy since Eric and I had been gone for the last couple of days, but because I was so sore and weak I couldn't pick her up like she wanted and that would lead her to start crying. Feeding time was coming up for Livy and so far it wasn't going very well trying to start nursing her since my milk wasn't in and because of all the IV's in my right arm I wasn't able to hold her well enough to make her feel secure while eating so Livy would get upset, not to mention it hurt! Plus being home made me realize more of my limitations while I recovered since I didn't have a nurse helping with everything or having two kids who needed their mom that I felt the responsibility to take care of now that I was home.

With some encouraging words from both Eric and my mom and some more pain medication, I was sent straight to bed for some sleep in hopes that I would wake up feeling rejuvenated. Before falling asleep I made what was a really hard, but needed decision. I decided to give up on the stressful processes of trying to breastfeed. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders,but with that came a little guilt. Even though it was still just as stressful as a process to breastfeed Mia at the beginning while making a similar recovery it was something I really came to enjoy and loved having that time to share with Mia. I was worried I wouldn't have the same connection with Livy.

Turns out a nap and a full nights rest along with the continued and never ending support and help from Eric and my mom was just what I needed to help me ease into my new life as a mother of two. I've spent the last couple of days reconnecting with Mia and trying to give her the attention and love that she needs from me as a mother as well as constantly snatching Livy up from her crib so I could snuggle with her and marvel at how much love one person can have for not only one but two of Heavenly Father's sweet spirits...my children! That love and the love for all those who have been such a tremendous help has helped keep me feeling positive and ever grateful!

I am still slower than molasses as I inch around the house with my swollen legs and feet with a shortness of breath and I still need help with a lot of different things, but the pain and soreness is dying down and my hands finally look like mine again. 

My swollen legs and feet that always feel on the verge of popping!

Livy is quite the little sleeper, except for at night which she decides to be awake most of. Luckily she doesn't cry when she is awake except when she is hungry, but just wants to be up and get her squirming in. Someone has their days and nights mixed up! Other than that she is doing so great! I forgot how much a LOVE little newborns! I hold her so tight sometimes not wanting her to grow up as I think about how Mia suddenly turned 2 in the blink of an eye! Mia is slowly adjusting to the whole situation as well. It hasn't helped that her two back molars decided to come in this week, making her even more sensitive and needy. Eric has been so good to give her lots of attention and take her out swimming and to the park. Mia also doesn't really want too much to do with Livy yet either. She'll come up and give Livy a kiss or little pat on the back every now and again or call out her name when she see's her move, but other than that she stays clear. I hope that in time though these two girls can be the best of friends!

My Mom has been so amazing to be constantly cooking and cleaning for us as well as help take care of Mia and Livy (well pretty much all of us!). This is Mia helping Grandma make some yummy muffins. It was so sweet to sit there and watch.

Thanks again to all who have helped out during this time and also for all my readers of my blog...for listening to my rants during my struggles as well as for your kind thoughts and comments! I really appreciate it!