This week has not been the greatest to say the least and it's only Wednesday! I feel like thing after thing keeps happening to the point where I'm ready to yell at the top of my lungs "I GIVE UP!" and go hide under a blanket for a whole day at least!
It all started after a frustrating weekend of having to go down to Orem to get the contract signed for the house and coming back empty handed because the seller didn't what to commit to a deadline yet, barely getting to see Eric before he flew out for work again and not getting hardly any time to study for a test I had to take this week.
Yesterday my friend, who is truly as saint and lifesaver, watched the girls when I went to Provo to take a final I needed to take for an online class I was taking. I really didn't get many chances to study without one of the girls crying at me wanting something, but I felt like I knew enough to at least pass and it was the last week I could take the test so it was now or never. The results...I failed it! Meaning that was $500 down the drain, I have to retake the class and I am not any closer to getting my degree. I cried the whole way home and what's worse was that I lied to my friend about not knowing my score because I was too embarrassed to admit that she had to watch my kids all morning for nothing!
The rest of the day was spent sulking, cleaning up after Mia who peed her pants after going almost a month without an accident and trying to care of an unusually fussy Livy. Then I finally worked myself up to making dinner. I haven't been shopping in almost 4 weeks so I was having to get creative as it was. I settled on chicken pot pie. I didn't have pie crust so I decided to use the crescent rolls I had. After spreading out the bottom layer in a pan I realize I didn't have mixed veggies. After improvising with some other kinds of veggies I realized that the other can of crescent rolls had popped open in the fridge and was all dried out. Mia would hardly touch dinner and I wasn't feeling my up to eating myself. Dinner ended up going down the drain. By this point I was about to another breaking point.
Today I was feeling a little better even though both the girls were up by 7am. (That is pretty early for us.) We took it pretty easy today. Mia spent the better part of the morning in time out for doing things she wasn't suppose to and I was going on my third day without a shower having not energy to care. (This is a pretty embarrassing fact as well.) By dinner time I decided to not even attempt dinner and just treat myself given the circumstances. I ordered us some Chilies to go online...some real comfort food. I ended up walking into an Applebees and asking for my order. The manger had to come out and ask if I was sure I made an order before I finally realize I wasn't in Chilies. Was it possible I was that caught up in everything that was going wrong this week that I couldn't even tell the difference between Applebees and Chilies!? SO embarrassing!
After finally getting our order, we came home and I probably ate 3 days worth of calories. It's a good thing I hardly eat anything for the most part when Eric's gone to justify this binge eating! I thought all was going good until Mia started crying and saying her tummy hurt just before she threw up all over the kitchen floor. My good feeling was gone and I was left feeling sick myself after having to clean it all up. So much to treating myself to dinner!
My plans tonight are to put Mia to bed and watch the sappiest movie I can find while I wait for Livy's bedtime so I can go to bed myself and call it another day. I am counting down the hours for Eric to be home tomorrow evening and until we leave for Vernal for the weekend to spend some time with family.
On a happier note I am redoing our dining table! Here is where I am at so far. I need to stain and seal the top, finish painting the chairs and get end chairs for the table.
I'm so sorry Hanna! Wish we lived closer!! I relate all too well to this post. I know you probably beat yourself up about everything you think you've failed at, but I look up to you in SO MANY ways. You inspire me to be a better Mama and wife! Thanks for the honesty, I love reading your blog. I'll totally be joining you with watching a sappy movie tonight ;). It's definitely been one of those kind of days. Tomorrow will be better I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I love reading about your blog too...I totally relate to a lot of it. I'm sure it's even crazier sometimes with 3 kids at home. Glad Caleb is home now though! Thanks for the encouragement!
DeleteAll this time your week has been going so horribly and yet you've still been spending probably every free minute on helping me?! While I can never express how grateful I feel, I in turn feel like a careless jerk. I wish we lived closer...on that note there is a cute house across the street for sale :) For now be strong and know that who you are and what you do is truly inspirational! Love you!
ReplyDeleteHaha I'll take it! Oregon seems like a lot more fun :) I enjoy helping other people especially when things aren't going great so thanks for giving me the opportunity! Besides, you do more for me than you know :)
DeleteHanna your post has me wanting to come over to your place and let you have a break! I feel I have these kind of days a lot and having your husband gone is no fun. I hope you have a great weekend with your family.
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks! That's very sweet of you. I'm sure it's quite an adjustment of your own being far away from family which you're use to being so close to. Hope it's going well!
DeleteI so hope your week gets better! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
ReplyDeleteYou're a great mom! I can't imagine being on my own all the time, you're doing great.
Hanna! You are going to make it! You are going to look back at this blog entry and realize how much you are a trooper (though it doesn't feel like it when you are in the midst of things). Don't give up and get that degree, you can do it.
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