So my reality...I struggle...some days more then others. For example, currently I am struggling to be patient and loving mother to a tantrum prone daughter as of late and today ashamed I admit that I didn't succeed! I struggle with not being sad when I hear my sister-in-law talk about seeing her healthy baby boy through an ultra sound as when I saw my babies on an ultra sound, where I was expecting to see a heart beat and a healthy baby I saw two hardly distinguishable babies who didn't form right that weren't alive. I sometime struggle with loneliness and that in a new place I won't make friends or fit in. I struggle with creating a picturesque house that is always spotless. I sometime struggle when getting dressed in the morning and finding something that I feel good in! I struggle with inadequacy on a daily basis in all the roles that I play. I don't always feel like I'm doing everything right to be a great mother, wife, or friend. Lastly, I struggle with having faith more times then not to take that step into the dark and know that everything is going to work out.
Unfortunately that is not the end to my struggles, but I will spare you from knowing all my weaknesses! The point is that I'm learning and growing everyday from the things I struggle with and trials I go through. I find that sometimes one of the things that helps the most is knowing that there are others facing the same things I am. (Whoever you are, lets be friends!) But mostly I'm grateful for the things and people who show me even during my struggle that there are things to be grateful for, which sometimes takes me a while to realize depending on the day!
Anyway, if nothing else then revealing to everyone that I have many problems, this was a good venting post for me. However, I hope that this post did some one good or at least inspires us to remember that through the experiences and struggles we've been through we can help others and we should do just that!
THANK YOU FOR THIS POST! Like I've told you before, you always know how to explain things :) I will ride the struggle train right alongside you. I guess instead of everyone reading the "pretty" blogs, people should look for real family blogs about real stories, or even sticking to great friends for support. I am proud to be your friend, Hanna!
ReplyDeleteYes, great post Hanna! You are definitely not alone with struggles! My friend recently had a miscarriage and she posted about it here: http://sticefam.blogspot.com/2012/03/unexpected.html. I still struggle at times with our move here. We are far from a lot of members in the ward and from the church building. I didn't think it would be a big deal, but it's been harder creating good friendships. I also need to go out of my way more though and do stuff with people. But I also don't really like our house, so that deters me from inviting a lot of people over! And I am sad about Clark not having hardly any friends at school. Anyway, when I read your post I thought of this book that you might enjoy. Though it doesn't apply to you right now as Mia is a baby and the book is for older children, I think every new parent should read it. The guy gives great advice that can be applied in any stage of parenting--and give parent's a head's up on how to deal with situations when kids are older. I need to read more of his books! It's by Kevin Lehman, "Have a New Kid by Friday". Lee and I both read it last Fall and it was really good. A couple things I didn't agree on, but overall I did. You're a great mom Hanna! Mia is so blessed to be in your home!
ReplyDeletePS--Leman, not Lehman. Sorry!
ReplyDeleteI think it takes a lot of courage and humility to let the world know that you do struggle and things are hard sometimes (maybe a lot of the time). I haven't had the courage or selflessness to do the same on my own blog, but it's something that I want to open up about in the future because I have drawn strength from your blog posts.
ReplyDeleteOur struggles may not be the same, but it definitely makes me feel less alone.
You're amazing, Hanna!
Yesterday the talks about Mothers were different than any I'd ever heard. One of my friends spoke and talked about feeling inadequate. She shared a quote about not comparing ourselves to others, especially when we are only seeing someone's strengths and our own weaknesses. Look up the talk (I think it was from a Relief Society meeting) called "Forget Not."
ReplyDeleteWe've all been there...it just takes bravery to admit it.
Isn't it funny how when we share our inner struggles, the opposite of what we fear will happen usually happens? Instead of people thinking we are some kind of weird alien human because of the short comings we admit to - I think most people find it SO refreshing and relate all too well. I always am fearful to admit my (billion) shortcomings and always fear someone will think I'm the worst (fill in the blank) Mom, Wife, etc. Thanks for the post. It's just what I need reminded of, pretty much ALL the time. Hugs! Can't wait to really do something with you guys soon.
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